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"It must be great, staying in hotels so often"

This is something I have heard a LOT.  And you know what, as someone who has no interest in travel or holidays, and had barely been away from home for her whole life, when I first started travelling the country with NoBooksOnTour.com, the mobile shop front of nobookswereharmed.co.uk, it was SUCH FUN! 
Staying in hotels and Air BnBs, eating out every night, getting back from work to a fresh bed every day, so decadent. And for about 18 months it remained mildly exciting.  But when you're checking in to your 45th hotel room of the year, having driven anything up to 8 hours to get there, I can assure you, you just want to unpack your big mug from home, and have a decent cup of tea and go to sleep until whatever ungodly hour you need to get up to go set up the stand in time for show open. 
I mean, I don't hate it, if I hated it, I simply wouldn't do it.  Being away from home with NoBooksOnTour.com is, ironically, often the only time I get a break.  I ONLY fold at home, at my desk.  And I'm a workaholic, so it's perfectly normal for me to fold all day, all evening, and then realise it's 2am and I need to be up and out for 6am haha  So it IS very nice to finish showcasing for the day, and go back to the hotel and be in bed for a sensible time and sleep right through til morning. Let's just ignore the fact that I'll usually have been on my feet for 12/13/14+ hours straight by that point haha  And 90% of the time, I'm finished work long after the kitchens have shut, so those meals away from home tends to be whatever I remembered to grab from a 24 hour petrol station, or, y'know, nothing. Decadent, eh?  Nah.

I look for functional digs within a short commute of wherever I'm working. I like them to be pretty basic, as I'm literally only sleeping there, so I'm not paying for the nice touches that you would when away for a nice wee weekend. As long as they're clean and ensuite, I don't care if they've not been decorated since nineteen oatcake, and as long as the staff are friendly, I don't care about anything else.  I want on site parking for the van, and private bathroom.  I don't even care if it's en suite to be honest. That's it.  Sometimes I'll share an AirBnB with another trader, sometimes a chain Inn or Lodge is the cheapest option, sometimes I find a workman's digs.

That's barely what you could have called the place pictured.  It's my biggest fuck up of however many 100s of work trips that I've booked.  It looked nice.  It looked like a basic but charming, small family run hotel.  I was shown to my single room (what I'd booked), and saw the very small single bed with a wash hand basin at the end.  And the shower.  Right there.  At the end of the bed.  Right there.  RIGHT FUCKING THERE.  You can see the black toes of my shoes at the bottom of the photo - that's me lying on the bed, and the shower is right there.  RIGHT THERE.  But, as a showeraholic, I was surprised yet mildy pleased, to find the shower so....very much there.
But where was the loo?
"No", I says, "I booked an en suite room".  
"You booked a room with a shower.  There's your shower"
"so where's my toilet?"
Down the corridor.  Shared with FIVE other rooms. 
Gets better.
I was in there for five nights, right, and only saw big, burly (perfectly nice), workie types.
And. 
The heavily SHARED toilet.
WAS FUCKING BLOCKED.
Every. single. morning.
and
Every. single. evening. 
I mean, it was clearly being unblocked on a regular basis, but I never once saw/used it...not completely full to the top.  
It was.  Rank. 

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?  The shower?
Doesn't look it in the picture, but the doorway was extremely narrow.
So, no, I couldn't pee in it hahahahaha

So yeah.  That's one NoBooksOnTour.com trip that is an example of how the shine & novelty of staying away from home, very quickly wears off!  

But you better believe that I no longer assume that "Room with shower" also includes a fucking toilet - read the small print folks, read the small print!

~ Jo

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